


'I need you'

by Iamala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adjusting to normal life, Can be seen as gen or slash undertones, Gen, M/M, Purgatory, outsider pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-16
Updated: 2012-11-16
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:18:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/564865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamala/pseuds/Iamala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adjusting to real life takes time. Sam knows this. And right now Dean needs Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'I need you'

**Author's Note:**

> Minor spoilers for 8.02

_“I need you Cas.”_

Sam didn’t understand. Sam still lived in the land of fairytales, he still ignored the blunt, honest truth even after all these years. Monsters were monsters. You do what you have to. You show no mercy.

It didn’t matter what he felt anymore because the weight of guilt had already crushed him into the perfect warrior. He didn’t care now.

He did what had to be done.

Cas understood that. Cas understood that you had to do whatever it took, you couldn’t think too much about the cost.

Cas was sleeping now. Curled up in the bed next to him. Sam had suggested they get another room but Dean yelled at him not to be so stupid. There were too many monsters out there.

Cas was staying with him.

He sat on the corner of the bed, knife idly playing in between his fingers as he looked at nothing in particular but still kept guard.

He’d spent a year in purgatory. He’d slaughtered half of it looking for Cas. Cas was an ally. Cas could be trusted.

_“I need you Cas.”_

He’d hugged Cas when he first saw him, down by that stream, filthy and only half sane. He’d spent months slaughtering for the guy he wanted to feel him in his arms, flesh and blood, solid. Real.

He didn’t shy away from touching Cas now. Cas was a reminder that this was real. That he was real.

He placed a hand on the back of his neck when they stood together to feel the strong, living pulse under his fingers. He pressed their arms against each other when they sat in too bright diners with too many people in, too many threats, to feel the warmth, solid, there. When Cas first encountered demons again Dean pressed their foreheads together, eyes hard and dangerous and a grin on his face.

_“We’ll take ‘em together Cas. Ain’t no-one breaking me and you apart.”_

He didn’t care for Sam’s surprised look. For the way he tried to hide it when he saw Dean looking. Sam didn’t understand. Sam thought you could still have picket fences and dogs and a life without monsters. Dean had closed his eyes and breathed Cas in. Cas was real. They were real. They knew the score.

And after they had slaughtered them, left them bleeding and empty on the ground Dean had reached for Cas, and he’d felt at home.

Cas stirred from his sleep and Dean turned to look at him.

“Dean?” Dean nodded.

“We’re safe.”

Cas nodded in response, their silent sign of affirmation.

“You need to sleep.”

Dean looked down at the knife in his hands, still turning the blade as its point rested against his finger.

“I’ll take the knife.”

Dean thought about it for another minute before silently handing the knife over to Cas who sat himself up against the headboard and took it, letting it rest easily in his palm. They looked at each other, silent, solemn. Changing of the guard.

Dean pulled himself up the bed until he was level with Cas’ thigh and rested his head next to it, feeling the warmth through the denim soak into his skin. Castiel’s free hand rested on his shoulder, a silent touch that would tell Dean even in his sleep, you’re fine, you’re safe. Someone is keeping watch. He let his eyes close, pressed as close to Cas as possible, and slept.

*

Sam found them in the morning, Cas keeping watch, Dean asleep with his nose buried against Castiel’s hip. There was a time he’d have teased him for it, made jokes about Dean befriending Dorothy and was there something he wanted to tell him?

But Sam kept quiet now.

Dean and Cas, they weren’t like that, they weren’t a definable thing. Dean was too far gone to consider lust or sex or any of those things. He and Cas were a block, a single thing wrapped up in each other and around each other and if one of them broke both would fall. Dean gave Cas something to fight for. Cas stopped Dean from falling too far.

As Dean stirred, Castiel tightened the hand on his comrade’s shoulder. “Cas?” Came the deep, wary voice, his body too still, as if waiting for attack.

“We’re safe.” Came Cas’ reply. And that was that.

Dean got up for breakfast, showered, brushed his teeth and even shaved. He contemplated Cas as he stood in the bathroom door frame. He walked up to the angel and rubbed a hand against his jaw.

“Getting long again peach fuzz.” There was a hint of a smile in his voice. “We’ll have to deal with that later.”

Castiel leaned into the touch and just looked at Dean. Sam could have sworn they were having another conversation on a level Sam couldn’t understand. He hoped one day he would, but for now, he was still an outsider. For now, Dean needed Cas. 


End file.
